i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
