at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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