Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have aggressive nipples.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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