In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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