True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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