have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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