# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Randomize
