Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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