using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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