I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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