I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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