In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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