Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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