It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
