I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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