Dual....:-)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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