I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
