My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
