WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
