my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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