Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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