just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
