he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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