i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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