i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
