This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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