I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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