You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's like iHOP with fire
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
