Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize