I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
