i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
