They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
