Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
