It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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