I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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