dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
