drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
