my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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