Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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