Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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