i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That accounts for only three of the penises
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
