He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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