You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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