Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
