shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
