nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize