whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
