M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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