went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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