I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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