that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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