I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
