he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
