Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
