plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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