Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
