at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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