i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize