I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
