I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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