if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
