When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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