if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
