i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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