I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
