okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
