A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
