omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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