The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize