would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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