Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
